I WAS STRUGGLING
Back in 2009, I was a baby having babies and completely lost myself to Motherhood and being a wife. I was always the people pleaser, happy girl, and had such a fear of judgement from others.
It was a rough place in my life that I still remember so vividly. The struggle from paycheck to paycheck and wondering what I was doing in life, yet always putting on a happy face when out in the world.
It felt dark and I was overwhelmed, but also grateful and happy for what we had? It was a strange pull back and forth yet I had zero clue who I was. Does everyone pretend? Do we all put on a happy face in the public eye and silently suffer behind closed doors? I mean, I had done it through a lot of my childhood so is this what life is truly all about?
I had always made it my life’s goal to be the exact opposite, yet somehow I found myself falling back into the same patterns I’d always lived.
I knew this couldn’t be how life was supposed to be, yet anytime I chatted with my closest friends about it they’d come back with, “Motherhood is ROUGH!” or you’d get the “Welcome to the club” comments and it simply didn’t help.
I DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO TAKE BACK CONTROL….
When we moved to Cedar City, I decided it was time for a fresh start. Honestly, we had hit a point where we knew this move would make or break us in our relationship.
I had always dreamed of a great life, but had zero clue where to start and here we were in a new area with no family or friends trying to figure it out.
All I knew was I was done crying, feeling completely hopeless as the kids whined, all while trying to stay on top of bills, working, laundry, and running the usual day to day activities.
It all became too much and I told myself something had to change. I couldn’t do life like this and if this is what it was truly like, what are any of us doing here?
THEN THINGS BEGAN TO SHIFT…
I met a Life Coach by happenstance and decided to give it a try. Only two sessions in and things began to shift.
I had held onto a lot from my past that needed to be released and I started my personal development journey as well as began taking control of my “stuff” and time. Time was especially a huge one for me… I wasted a LOT of it!
A few months later I can still remember the mental shift. When I realized that I can take control and make my life into what I dream of.
I started to realize that I wasn’t just a mom, I was still a person buried deep inside. The girl hiding behind the excuse of “I’m always late because of kids,” or “I can’t chase my dreams because I have kids,” yada yada…
It was time to let the little girl me out of hiding to become the woman + mama I was meant to be.
I had spent so much time wishing I could be one of those moms that loved doing all the crafty things with their kids, getting everywhere on time put together + planning play-dates with the mom-groups in town.
I STARTED FINDING MYSELF
I realized it wasn’t my “job” to force myself to enjoy things I never had before. So, I started leaning into things I was interested in, marketed my Photography biz, and got to work on me.
I stopped complaining about whiny kids, asked my hubs for help, and decided how I wanted to spend my time.
I began to live on purpose and chase down a dream, be grateful for where I was, and excited about where I was going.
I quickly learned that my job on earth isn’t to only be a mom or a wife. It is to find myself and chase down things that I LOVE.
I was starting to find ways that I did enjoy my kids. I loved taking them to the park and playing with them, snuggling up watching movies at night, and I didn’t have to plan a single craft because that wasn’t my jam and it’s OK!
It was time to simplify everything, stop wading through piles of stuff, and do the inner work + get in a good headspace.
I was no longer using the excuse of my kids being in the way, they were now the reason WHY. I was building a better life, a better me, and a better childhood FOR my kids.
It was time to get out of survival mode. I always wanted to be a good mom, but never knew how. I was stressed out all the time and definitely didn’t like myself so I knew I was a real peach to be around.
I was starting to find ways that I did enjoy my kids. I loved taking them to the park and playing with them, snuggling up watching movies at night, and I didn’t have to plan a single craft because that wasn’t my jam and it’s OK. It’s ok for me and it’s ok for you too!
I found personal development and it changed me. I started to shift the way I thought about life. I began to simplify our home and pay attention to where my time was being spent.
I started to notice things that fired me up and what didn’t.
Then, I began to grow. As a person, as a mother, as a wife, and as a friend. I took control of my time and started working toward a life I could be proud of. I practiced gratitude, got my morning routine in place, and jumped back into doing things that fired me up.
I became more self-aware. Leaned into the things that I was curious about. I got myself out of the deep, dark hole I had been buried in and little by little life started to get lighter.
Mama, I want you to know that your life can get lighter too. That there is a light at the end of your long, dark tunnel, and although you may feel as though it is swallowing you whole right now, you can take a hold of that pen and write a new story.
It is one baby step at a time and I am here to guide you through it all. Everything you need is already within you and you can find it down deep so that your life feels lighter and happier too!
Are you ready to take control of your time and create a life you love? Let’s do this together and I’ll be here with you every step of the way.
I have made it my mission + purpose in life to help busy mamas simplify life, overcome limiting beliefs + create more time for a life you love.
I’m here for you….
xoxo,
Amanda
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